i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
