I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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