hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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