I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
