you told grandpa to call you daddy
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
