in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
