i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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