some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
