If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
