I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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