I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
it hurts more in the daytime
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
