Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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