After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Randomize
