So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is it penis luge time yet?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
