She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
