How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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