actually, I'm a sock model
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
