I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
