i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he was CRYING into my vagina
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
