A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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