sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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