Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
