why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
