I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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