Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
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He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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