Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
