I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize