Small penises have feelings too.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
