They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
