We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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