all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
