my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
