i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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