I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
