like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
