Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
