you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
