True but thats because hes a fetus.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
