I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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