Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
