i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
