i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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