I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
