Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
