She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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