barbara walters just said penis...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
