he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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