I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
