If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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