for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
