just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My dick has a subreddit
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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