Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
