so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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