So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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