brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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