I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
