Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
