She said her name was "party"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
