You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
