she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
This is classic penis vs brain.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize