you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
