This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
