I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
