PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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