Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize