clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
