You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
