Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
