im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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