Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
