when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
