She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
