Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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